How to Be the Best Lover, Partner and Friend (from Couples Counseling Series)

When people first get married they usually expect their love and commitment to last for a lifetime. Unfortunately, for at least half of all couples it doesn't. What happens? Soon after marriage, couples discover that the bliss of falling in love quickly fades. They no longer see each other through rose colored glasses. The ease with which they once overlooked each other's faults becomes much more difficult.

With married life, couples begin to encounter new challenges, roles and responsibilities. Conflicts arise and sometimes go unresolved. Tensions build. Commitments weaken. Mutual respect isn't always present. And, unconditional love and acceptance do not always last. So how do you build a strong marriage that can withstand the onslaughts of life's problems and challenges?

No one ever said that marriage is easy. Marriage is hard work. To keep a marriage strong, satisfying and lasting requires a great deal of investment. It takes time and energy to get to know and understand your spouse, to set goals and share dreams, and to have fun and enjoy each other. Couples sometimes lose touch with each other and grow apart when they get lax and don't work on their marriage. Yet when they do work on their relationship, they are much more likely to feel very close and deeply cared for by their partner.  Sometimes couples know there are areas they need to work on, but they do not know where to begin or what to do.  Couples counseling can be very helpful in reaching their relationship goals and improving their relationship.


Couples who invest in their marriages can build deep friendships. Researchers have found that the level of a couple's friendship is the greatest indicator of success in marriage. Couples who are close and are best friends have more happiness and satisfaction in their lives. Best friends are trustworthy, safe, understanding, loving, accepting and respectful. Best friends are a strong buffer in times of trouble. You can count on them. They are supportive and faithful. Best friends can work through conflicts and pressures that threaten the relationship. Best friends do not give up on each other. They forgive. They share.

You may have been your spouse's partner and lover, but have you been your spouse's best friend? If your marriage is not all that you would like it to be and you want to begin investing more into your marriage to make it better, why not begin with your friendship. You may likely find that it is one of the greatest investments you will ever make.

* Couples who want to improve thier relationships so they can be the best partner, lover and friend to their spouse may benefit from couples counseling where they can gain insight and better understanding of themselves and their partner, develop better communication skills, resolve unhealthy patterns and recurring problematic, gain more respect and trust, and draw closer and more in love with one another.


Your Partner and Lover, but Your Best Friend? (from the Couples Counseling Series)
by Krystal Kuehn
Copyright © 2011 NewDayCounseling.org  All Rights Reserved.

Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. ~Carl Reiner

I think that enduring, committed love between a married couple, along with raising children, is the most noble act anyone can aspire to. It is not written about very much. ~ Santiz Nicholas Sparks

Couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking. ~ Chinese Proverb

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~Mignon McLaughlin

Love, by itself, is not enough to sustain even the most loving couple -- at least the kind of love Hollywood pumps into our culture is not enough. Marriage requires new skills in communication, conflict resolution and so on. Love cannot protect a marriage from harm. But love combined with effective skills can overcome all. ~Unknown

Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.
~ Erich Fromm




Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning self-improvement and personal growth site where you can find hundreds of free resources, online workshops, video presentations, insights, and inspiration.



New Day Counseling is a family couples counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.


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Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information about this teen group, click here.  For individual teenage counseling, click here.



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