Saturday, November 24, 2012

How Do You Love? Find out with this Simple Test

 Love must be learned, and learned again; there is no end to it. ~Katherine Anne Porter

When people say “I love you,” what do they mean? Perhaps they are referring to their strong emotions, or to a physical love that is passionate and lustful. How often is it a deeper love—a love that is selfless, unconditional, and forgiving that is expressed? This kind of love is stronger than emotions and physical passions. It involves commitment and a decision to act in the best interest of others. This is a giving and sacrificial love. It is not dependent upon the attractiveness, agreeableness, or condition of the love object. It is love this is unconditional and free.

This is the kind of love that is loyal and would not betray the one it loves. This is the kind of love that never gives up, but continues to want and believe the best of the other person. This love is patient, kind, and respectful. It does not harbor resentment, nor is it arrogant, rude, and selfish.

So the next time we tell someone we love them, do we love them with this kind of love? We might have good intentions and a true desire to love others unconditionally and with our whole hearts, but most of us could use some practice and greater understanding of love. We can check our understanding of love by this simple exercise. Using The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships, replace the word love with your name or with the words "I am..". For the first one only, use "I have" instead of "I am"   That is, I have esteem for self and others. Then continue with I am patient, I am kind, and so forth.

1. Love is Esteem for Self & Others
2. Love is Patient
3. Love is Kind
4. Love is Considerate
5. Love is not Jealous or Envious
6. Love is Humble
7. Love is not Demanding
8. Love is not Easily Angered
9. Love is Forgiving
10. Love is Sincere

How many of those statements do you believe to be true with your name in place of love? Don’t be disheartened if you feel you need work in any or all of these areas. Most of us probably have plenty of room to grow in our understanding and practice of love. This exercise has hopefully been helpful in identifying key areas in which you might want to improve your experience of love and all the benefits that come with it. For more information, activities, and affirmations about love go to The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships.

C2008 Kuehn

Joy is the experience of knowing that you are unconditionally loved and that nothing—sickness, failure, emotional distress, oppression, war or even death—can take that love away. ~Henri Nouwen

The Power of Love is amazing and never-ending.
Love can motivate, energize, inspire, and strengthen.
Love can do in a person what nothing else can do.
Love has the power to revive and change lives,
restore relationships, and bring healing.
All else may fail, but Love never fails.
~Krystal Kuehn

Look inside The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships, click here.

New Day Counseling is a family counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.

Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.

Are you experiencing addiction or substance use that is impacting your daily life? You are not alone! There are many people struggling with substance abuse and addiction! There are also many people who recover and live a drug free lifestyle. Come join our 6 week substance abuse group to discover the pathway to freedom! One Day at A Time! For substance abuse classes and/or individual substance abuse counseling, call or visit us today.

Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.

Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information, click here. We also offer individual teenage counseling.

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Saturday, November 17, 2012

Gratitude: More Than Words

 As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. - John F. Kennedy

How trustworthy are our words if there is no action behind them? We can tell our kids not to smoke, but if they see us doing it, can we realistically expect them to listen? We can say we care about our health, but do our eating habits confirm that we do? The old adage rings true: Actions speak louder than words. 

It is not just the words we say that reveal the condition of our hearts. People watch what we do more than what we say. Our actions are the best indicators of who we really are. Actions can speak so loud that we may not even need words at all sometimes. If you see a man treating his wife with love and respect, speaking well of her, supporting and acknowledging her, you don’t need him or anyone to tell you that he loves her. If you know someone who gives of their time and resources to help people in need, you do not need to be told that he or she cares or that he or she is a giving person. Observing the actions of others lead us to come to our own conclusions. 
When our hearts are truly thankful, it will come out and be evident in our words. With a thankful heart we will not find fault, but rather, we will find something to praise. We will not complain, but instead, we will rejoice. With a thankful heart, we will not focus on what is lacking, we will be filled with all that is good. We will not be resentful because we feel cheated; we will cherish and acknowledge the many ways in which we are blessed. The way we live, our attitude, and our perspective is communicating something to someone at all times.

We can be assured that our gratitude and appreciation is being heard when our life becomes a song of praise—realizing our many blessings are undeserved, our life is a gift, the love we share with others is priceless, and the beauty and wonder we see and experience in creation is a privilege.

Gratitude: More than Words  by Krystal Kuehn Copyright © 2009 All Rights Reserved

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, best-selling author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of, a relationship counseling, family counseling center, specializing in helping individuals, couples and families with professional counseling services for relationship problems, parenting issues, depression, anxiety as well a s substance abuse classes, anger management groups, and more. Krystal is also cofounder of as well as and several blogs.

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We all have been reminded to count our blessings and not take them for granted. Although we may claim to be grateful, we do not necessarily experience the kind of joy and peace that gratitude can bring us. In this uplifting book, Giving Thanks – Why It Makes You Happy, Fills You with Peace and Changes Your Life! , you will discover the untold power of gratitude in every area of your life. You will be inspired to receive and enjoy the good things in life that are available to you every day. Your life and the way you live it will never be the same once you discover the miraculous power of gratitude!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Do You Have a Winning Attitude?

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. ~unknown

 Just released:  Simple Truths to Personal Success: You Can Have a Winning Attitude for Live, Self and Others by New Day Counseling Co-founders Krystal Kuehn and Violet James

Personal success does not just happen; it is the result of making wise choices, focusing on the positive, believing for the best, and seeing oneself as a winner.

In Simple Truths to Personal Success: You Can Have a Winning Attitude for Live, Self and Others, you will be empowered to have a winning perspective and attitude in all areas of your life. Each chapter discusses a simple truth with a short story/illustration to help you understand and apply the principles to your life. You are also provided with empowering thoughts and affirmations that are sure to inspire and affirm a winning attitude in you!

Excerpt from Simple Truths to Personal Success: You Can Have a Winning Attitude for Live, Self and Others :

Simple Truth #1

We Win When We Believe In Ourselves

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. ~unknown

If we are to believe in ourselves, we must be certain of who we are.  We must have faith in what we can do and trust that we can be successful, that we have something to contribute, and that we are strong enough to accomplish what we set our minds to.  Recognizing and valuing our personal qualities and strengths enables us to believe in ourselves.

Friends told her she could do it, but Andrea needed to believe it for herself.  Although she knew she was a talented piano player, she doubted herself when she was asked to play for a major theatrical production.  She never performed in theater before, and this would be a new experience for her.  Andrea knew that insecurities could keep her from enjoying this opportunity if she allowed them to.  Although reluctant, she chose to believe in herself and trust that this challenge would increase her confidence if she would take it.

We can have a winner mentality.  It is in our minds that we are defeated or victorious.  Thoughts that are contrary to a confident perception of ourselves might challenge us often.  We don’t have to believe them.  We can stand on the truth and believe in ourselves. 


I can believe in myself because I was born to win.

 I choose to have a winning attitude today ….by believing in myself.

Empowering Thoughts:

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right. ~Henry Ford

Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. ~Norman Vincent Peale

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. ~Thomas Alva Edison

A person can grow only as much as his horizon allows. ~John Powell

Look inside of book to read more!

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