A New Year & A New You

Did you make any New Year's Resolutions?

Most of us like to start the new year with hopes and plans for a good year. The past is behind us and we carry over the blessings, memories, and lessons it has taught us. But today is a new day, a new year, and we can start fresh. We can have new beginnings and set new goals.

What would you like to be different this coming year? Maybe you want to get in better shape, lose some weight, get out of debt, break bad habits and begin healthy ones, heal and restore a marriage, build new relationships, improve some skills, donate your time and/or finances, contribute to the community, make a positive difference in other's lives, and the list goes on.

Research shows that most New Year's resolutions are not kept for very long. We have good intentions and maybe start out with determination and confidence, but soon after our enthusiasm dies out. Oftentimes our resolutions are more challenging than we had expected. Maybe this year we can approach the new year with just one goal that will help us to meet all the others: to live a more positive and grateful life. A postiive and grateful life helps us to stay strong in our faith, persist, dream, set goals, love others and treat them with kindness and respect. Real fulfillment and joy can be ours this year as we commit to being our best.

Make this the best year yet by being the best you can be. It starts with you - your thinking, your attitude, your love walk, you faith, your perpective, your commitment, your persistence, your choices. We don't know what this new year will bring, but we can resolve to make the best of this year as we make the best of ourselves.

God bless you and may this year be your best ever!


We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce


The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months! ~Edward Payson Powell


I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's. ~Henry Moore


Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right. ~Oprah Winfrey




Copyright © 2008 Krystal Kuehn, New Day Counseling. All Rights Reserved


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of NewDayCounseling.org

New Day Counseling is a family counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.

Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.

Are you experiencing addiction or substance use that is impacting your daily life? You are not alone! There are many people struggling with substance abuse and addiction! There are also many people who recover and live a drug free lifestyle. Come join our 6 week substance abuse group to discover the pathway to freedom! One Day at A Time! For substance abuse classes and/or individual substance abuse counseling, call or visit us today.

Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.

Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information, click here. We also offer individual teenage counseling.



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Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas!

Season's Greetings to you all!

We wish you a very happy holiday season and a very Merry Christmas. May you be blessed with health in body and mind and filled with love and peace that cannot be shaken.

It's a New Day to believe, to hope, to give thanks, to celebrate and to live life to the fullest!

God bless you this holiday season and always!!   ~ from all of us at New Day Counseling
 

It is Christmas every time you let God love others through you . . . yes, it is Christmas every time you smile at your brother and offer him your hand. ~Mother Teresa

Best of all, Christmas means a spirit of love, a time when the love of God and the love of our fellow men should prevail over all hatred and bitterness, a time when our thoughts and deeds and the spirit of our lives manifest the presence of God. ~George F McDougall
The joy of brightening other lives, bearing others' burdens, easing other's loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas. ~W.C. Jones

Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most. ~Ruth Carter Stapleton

Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide-open-heart that thinks of others first.  ~George M Adams

Christmas is the season of joy, of holiday greetings exchanged, of gift-giving,and of families united. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home! ~Charles Dickens



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How to Find Peace in a World of "Why?"

Pain and suffering are a part of the human experience. No one is exempt. Tragedies occur leaving us in shock and devastation. Diseases weaken and destroy bodies. The innocent are abused and exploited. Families are broken and hearts are shattered. Losses leave us to grieve and cry out from the depths of our souls, Why? This question is so often directed to the only One who knows the answer. We plead for God to help us to understand. We want to know why He allows people to hurt so badly and suffer unjustly.

Not understanding why people must suffer is the reason many people question the love and sovereignty of God. They reason, “How can a loving God allow such evil? Being all-powerful He could easily stop it if He really cared.” Yet, their questions go unanswered and some deny God or pull away from Him. Sometimes it is for a season and sometimes it is for a lifetime.

Pain and suffering do not have to keep us from seeking God and going to Him with all of our questions, confusion, pain, and anger. He knows how we feel and what we think. He understands what we are going through. When bad things happen, it does not mean that He is no longer with us or present in our situation. It does not mean He loves us any less or that He doesn’t care. However, it can be very difficult to believe this when we are hurting so badly. But nothing can ever change who God is. He is good no matter what happens. His plans for us are good regardless of how things might appear.

Nothing can ever keep us from His love and grace. They never cease. Only we can keep ourselves from receiving His love and grace. He wants us to know Him and all He has for us. That is why He invites us to draw near to Him and allow Him to draw near to us. He will give us so much more than the answers we think we need. He will give us His love that endures forever. He will give us His peace and will calm our minds. He will comfort our hearts and hold us up. He will be gracious and merciful to us. He will give us beauty for ashes. He will turn our mourning into dancing.

If you have ever asked Why? in the midst of circumstances that are beyond your understanding, you are not alone. When there is no answer or reasonable explanation, the way you handle it will determine how it changes you. You can choose to trust that God is still good, that He restores and comforts, brings healing and inner peace, and helps us learn and grow in the midst of pain and suffering. And most of all, that He is the answer to all that we seek.

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief… and unspeakable love. ~ Washington Irving

Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve. ~Earl Grollman

Grief can't be shared. Everyone carries it alone. His own burden in his own way  ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Grief is the price we pay for love  ~ Queen Elizabeth II

Can I see another's woe, and not be in sorrow too? Can I see another's grief, and not seek for kind relief?  ~ William Blake

Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not. ~ C.S. Lewis

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning. ~ Lamentations

Mourning is one of the most profound human experiences that it is possible to have... The deep capacity to weep for the loss of a loved one and to continue to treasure the memory of that loss is one of our noblest human traits. ~ Shneidman

We find a place for what we lose. Although we know that after such a loss the acute stage of mourning will subside, we also know that we shall remain inconsolable and will never find a substitute. No matter what may fill the gap, even if it be filled completely, it nevertheless remains something else. ~Sigmund Freud

If it were not for hopes, the heart would break. ~Thomas Fuller

Grief is a normal and natural response to loss. It is originally an unlearned feeling process. Keeping grief inside increases your pain. - Ann Grant

Allowing children to show their guilt, show their grief, show their anger, takes the sting out of the situation.  ~ Martha Beck

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. ~Martin Luther King

My job is to take care of the possible and trust God with the impossible. ~unknown

Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, faith looks up. ~unknown

Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn't change anything. All it does is taint your mind and steals your joy. You can't have joy without peace, and there is no peace without God. ~unknown




How to Find Peace in a World of "Why?" written by Krystal Kuehn
Published in the Mirror Magazine, Faithfully Yours section

Copyright © 2007 BeHappy4Life.com. All Rights Reserved

New Day Counseling is a family counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.


Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.


Are you experiencing addiction or substance use that is impacting your daily life? You are not alone! There are many people struggling with substance abuse and addiction! There are also many people who recover and live a drug free lifestyle. Come join our 6 week substance abuse group to discover the pathway to freedom! One Day at A Time! For substance abuse classes and/or individual substance abuse counseling, call or visit us today.


Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.


Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information, click here. We also offer individual teenage counseling.



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How Do You Love? Find out with this Simple Test

 Love must be learned, and learned again; there is no end to it. ~Katherine Anne Porter

When people say “I love you,” what do they mean? Perhaps they are referring to their strong emotions, or to a physical love that is passionate and lustful. How often is it a deeper love—a love that is selfless, unconditional, and forgiving that is expressed? This kind of love is stronger than emotions and physical passions. It involves commitment and a decision to act in the best interest of others. This is a giving and sacrificial love. It is not dependent upon the attractiveness, agreeableness, or condition of the love object. It is love this is unconditional and free.

This is the kind of love that is loyal and would not betray the one it loves. This is the kind of love that never gives up, but continues to want and believe the best of the other person. This love is patient, kind, and respectful. It does not harbor resentment, nor is it arrogant, rude, and selfish.

So the next time we tell someone we love them, do we love them with this kind of love? We might have good intentions and a true desire to love others unconditionally and with our whole hearts, but most of us could use some practice and greater understanding of love. We can check our understanding of love by this simple exercise. Using The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships, replace the word love with your name or with the words "I am..". For the first one only, use "I have" instead of "I am"   That is, I have esteem for self and others. Then continue with I am patient, I am kind, and so forth.

1. Love is Esteem for Self & Others
2. Love is Patient
3. Love is Kind
4. Love is Considerate
5. Love is not Jealous or Envious
6. Love is Humble
7. Love is not Demanding
8. Love is not Easily Angered
9. Love is Forgiving
10. Love is Sincere

How many of those statements do you believe to be true with your name in place of love? Don’t be disheartened if you feel you need work in any or all of these areas. Most of us probably have plenty of room to grow in our understanding and practice of love. This exercise has hopefully been helpful in identifying key areas in which you might want to improve your experience of love and all the benefits that come with it. For more information, activities, and affirmations about love go to The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships.


C2008 BeHappy4Life.com/Krystal Kuehn

Joy is the experience of knowing that you are unconditionally loved and that nothing—sickness, failure, emotional distress, oppression, war or even death—can take that love away. ~Henri Nouwen

The Power of Love is amazing and never-ending.
Love can motivate, energize, inspire, and strengthen.
Love can do in a person what nothing else can do.
Love has the power to revive and change lives,
restore relationships, and bring healing.
All else may fail, but Love never fails.
~Krystal Kuehn

Look inside The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships, click here.



New Day Counseling is a family counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.


Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.


Are you experiencing addiction or substance use that is impacting your daily life? You are not alone! There are many people struggling with substance abuse and addiction! There are also many people who recover and live a drug free lifestyle. Come join our 6 week substance abuse group to discover the pathway to freedom! One Day at A Time! For substance abuse classes and/or individual substance abuse counseling, call or visit us today.


Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.


Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information, click here. We also offer individual teenage counseling.



<< Back to Be Your Best Home



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Gratitude: More Than Words

 As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. - John F. Kennedy

How trustworthy are our words if there is no action behind them? We can tell our kids not to smoke, but if they see us doing it, can we realistically expect them to listen? We can say we care about our health, but do our eating habits confirm that we do? The old adage rings true: Actions speak louder than words. 

It is not just the words we say that reveal the condition of our hearts. People watch what we do more than what we say. Our actions are the best indicators of who we really are. Actions can speak so loud that we may not even need words at all sometimes. If you see a man treating his wife with love and respect, speaking well of her, supporting and acknowledging her, you don’t need him or anyone to tell you that he loves her. If you know someone who gives of their time and resources to help people in need, you do not need to be told that he or she cares or that he or she is a giving person. Observing the actions of others lead us to come to our own conclusions. 
 

When our hearts are truly thankful, it will come out and be evident in our words. With a thankful heart we will not find fault, but rather, we will find something to praise. We will not complain, but instead, we will rejoice. With a thankful heart, we will not focus on what is lacking, we will be filled with all that is good. We will not be resentful because we feel cheated; we will cherish and acknowledge the many ways in which we are blessed. The way we live, our attitude, and our perspective is communicating something to someone at all times.

We can be assured that our gratitude and appreciation is being heard when our life becomes a song of praise—realizing our many blessings are undeserved, our life is a gift, the love we share with others is priceless, and the beauty and wonder we see and experience in creation is a privilege.

Gratitude: More than Words  by Krystal Kuehn Copyright © 2009 BeHappy4Life.com. All Rights Reserved

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, best-selling author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of NewDayCounseling.org, a relationship counseling, family counseling center, specializing in helping individuals, couples and families with professional counseling services for relationship problems, parenting issues, depression, anxiety as well a s substance abuse classes, anger management groups, and more. Krystal is also cofounder of BeHappy4Life.com as well as Facebook.com/WordsOfInspiration and several blogs.



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Giving Thanks: Why It Makes You Happy, Fills You with Peace & Changes Your Life!

We all have been reminded to count our blessings and not take them for granted. Although we may claim to be grateful, we do not necessarily experience the kind of joy and peace that gratitude can bring us. In this uplifting book, Giving Thanks – Why It Makes You Happy, Fills You with Peace and Changes Your Life! , you will discover the untold power of gratitude in every area of your life. You will be inspired to receive and enjoy the good things in life that are available to you every day. Your life and the way you live it will never be the same once you discover the miraculous power of gratitude!

Do You Have a Winning Attitude?

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. ~unknown

 Just released:  Simple Truths to Personal Success: You Can Have a Winning Attitude for Live, Self and Others by New Day Counseling Co-founders Krystal Kuehn and Violet James

Personal success does not just happen; it is the result of making wise choices, focusing on the positive, believing for the best, and seeing oneself as a winner.

In Simple Truths to Personal Success: You Can Have a Winning Attitude for Live, Self and Others, you will be empowered to have a winning perspective and attitude in all areas of your life. Each chapter discusses a simple truth with a short story/illustration to help you understand and apply the principles to your life. You are also provided with empowering thoughts and affirmations that are sure to inspire and affirm a winning attitude in you!

Excerpt from Simple Truths to Personal Success: You Can Have a Winning Attitude for Live, Self and Others :

Simple Truth #1

We Win When We Believe In Ourselves

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. ~unknown

If we are to believe in ourselves, we must be certain of who we are.  We must have faith in what we can do and trust that we can be successful, that we have something to contribute, and that we are strong enough to accomplish what we set our minds to.  Recognizing and valuing our personal qualities and strengths enables us to believe in ourselves.

Friends told her she could do it, but Andrea needed to believe it for herself.  Although she knew she was a talented piano player, she doubted herself when she was asked to play for a major theatrical production.  She never performed in theater before, and this would be a new experience for her.  Andrea knew that insecurities could keep her from enjoying this opportunity if she allowed them to.  Although reluctant, she chose to believe in herself and trust that this challenge would increase her confidence if she would take it.

We can have a winner mentality.  It is in our minds that we are defeated or victorious.  Thoughts that are contrary to a confident perception of ourselves might challenge us often.  We don’t have to believe them.  We can stand on the truth and believe in ourselves. 

Affirmations:

I can believe in myself because I was born to win.

 I choose to have a winning attitude today ….by believing in myself.

Empowering Thoughts:

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right. ~Henry Ford

Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. ~Norman Vincent Peale

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. ~Thomas Alva Edison

A person can grow only as much as his horizon allows. ~John Powell

Look inside of book to read more!
 

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Be Encouraged - It's a New Day!

Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed. ~Abraham Lincoln

Yard Sale

     One day the devil decided to go out of business, so he invited a cast of the world's most evil characters to a special yard sale.
     The tools he was selling included hate, envy, jealousy, greed, betrayal, deceit, vengeance and malice.  In the center of the display was a well-worn, wedge-shaped tool that looked like it had been used much more than the other tools.
     "What's that thing in the middle?" one character asked.
     "That's discouragement," the devil answered.
     "And why is it priced so much higher than the rest of your tools?"
     "Because," the devil answered, "with that tool I can pry open and get inside a person's mind that I couldn't get near with any of my other tools.  Once discouragement takes over, I can let all the other tools do their work."

 
Reprinted with permission from Good Stuff
800-220-8600


Never, never, never quit! – Winston Churchill

In spite of everything I shall rise again: I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in my great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing. – Vincent Van Gogh

Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success. ~ Dale Carnegie

Disappointments will come and go, but discouragement is a choice that you make.  ~ Dr. Charles Stanley

What we do not see, what most of us never suspect of existing, is the silent but irresistible power which comes to the rescue of those who fight on in the face of discouragement. – Napoleon Hill

Discouragement is not the absence of adequacy but the absence of courage. – Neal A. Maxwell


Don’t accept discouragement, keep going! Less stress will result by not allowing discouragement to be your attitude! – Catherine Pulsifer


The most essential factor is persistence – the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come. – James Whitcomb Riley

(Discouragement) Can be temporary–or it can destroy our life. The choice is ours. If we refuse to deal with discouragement head-on, we are opening the door for it to completely dominate our life. – Dr. Charles Stanley


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Pets: How They Enrich Our Lives & Improve Our Health

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. ~unknown

Anyone who loves and owns a pet knows the joy of companionship and love they provide. Pets are our devoted friends. Following are just some of the many benefits that having a pet can bring:

Love & Affection

Pets offer humanity one thing that we all need and seek, that is, the miracle-working power of unconditional love. People with pets experience that love because they know they don't have to earn it. Their pets love them just the way they are. When they are irritable or moody, their pet is forgiving and accepting. When they are apart, they know they are missed and will be greeted with excitement and an affectionate welcome. It can make them feel like the most important person in the world, and they actually are to their pet.

Pets express affection to their owners and this loving act reminds them that they are loved. Pet behavior is actually more consistent when compared to human behavior, which can be unstable and unpredictable at times. Therefore, pet owners can be secure in knowing that their pet's love and affection will not be withdrawn unexpectedly. Emotionally, they can experience a love that is accepting and does not have to be earned from their pets. This experience of unconditional love can be very therapeutic as it is a constant reminder that they are valuable, special, and worthy of love and respect.

Companionship

Pets keep us company. They can help ward off feelings of loneliness and isolation. The very presence of a pet reminds us that we are not physically alone. Pets provide a unique bond and companionship that also helps in warding off feelings of disconnection from others. Caring for pets requires verbal and/or nonverbal communication with them. In turn, pets respond and follow. They provide a listening ear to our troubles as well. Talking to them or showing and receiving affection are healthy ways to feel more connected with our loving companions.

Relaxation & Comfort

Research studies consistently show that pets help us relax. Simply stroking a pet lowers blood pressure and calms us. Pets provide comfort and affection that help to reduce stress. They help to divert attention away from problems. Pets also provide enjoyment and make us laugh, releasing the body's natural feel-good chemicals. Pets are good for our emotional as well as physical health.

A Rewarding Relationship

We all need to have a sense of purpose in our lives, something to do and look forward to every day. Aside from our work and other responsibilities, we need meaningful and rewarding ways to give out and enjoy life. Having a pet provides us with an important responsibility and a chance to give our time and attention to a rewarding relationship. Pet owners know that they are counted on every single day to care for their pet's many needs-feeding, bathing, exercise, grooming, and affection. Having a pet to take care of gives us the sense that we are needed and responsible for our companion who counts on us. This can be healthy for our self-esteem as it keeps us actively involved in caring for something other than ourselves. And in that there is great reward and fulfillment.

Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved. NewDayCounseling.org Written by Krystal Kuehn

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. ~ Josh Billings




Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, best-selling author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of NewDayCounseling.org, a relationship counseling, family counseling center, specializing in helping individuals, couples and families with professional counseling services for relationship problems, parenting issues, depression, anxiety as well a s substance abuse classes, anger management groups, and more. Krystal is also cofounder of StopSuicideSong.com and BeHappy4Life.com as well as Facebook.com/WordsOfInspiration and several blogs.

365 Motivation Starters for a New Day

We can begin each new day with motivation and anticipation of good things to come. No matter what happened yesterday, today is a new day. And with it, we are given a new opportunity to enjoy life, to love and laugh, to learn and grow, to win and conquer, to prosper and live fully.

Whether or not we realize it, we begin each new day wanting it to be good and purposeful. No one wakes us saying, “I want to be aimless and unmotivated today.” However, we hold a responsibility to encourage and motivate ourselves. And that is the goal of the simple truths in 365 Motivation Starters for a New Day. They are simple every day reminders intended to motivate and help you to:

· Think about your endless opportunities to live a fulfilling life
· Get motivated to take some action
· Focus on what matters most to you
· Consider your priorities and decisions
· Improve your relationships
· Grow, learn, and make positive changes in your life
· Fill your mind with positive, empowering thoughts

You can live with motivation, purpose and joy each new day of the year. May the following pages remind you that you have the power within you to choose your attitude every day, to motivate and encourage yourself, and to live a truly fulfilling and successful life!

Click here to look inside the book 365 Motivation Starters for a New Day

International Best Seller: The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships provides essential tools to help you understand relationships and how to make them more fulfilling, harmonious and successful. You will be taken on a personal journey to discover how you communicate the 10 key attributes of love as you relate to others. You will be empowered with tools to replace unhealthy patterns with new, healthy and effective ways to communicate, connect and love others. And you will discover how to communicate and experience genuine love and true happiness in ways that will change you, your relationships and your life forever!

Click here to see inside the book.


New Day Counseling is a family couples counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.


Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.

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Marital Secrets - 7 Reasons We Keep Them

Matt has an online relationship with a woman from another state. It isn’t anything serious, so why worry his wife? Katie has been hiding her spending sprees from her husband that has put them into serious financial debt. She is afraid if he finds out he will never forgive her. Jason never told his wife that he got fired from his job, but rather, that he got laid off. He did not want her to lose faith and respect for him.


From the above scenarios, we can clearly see that couples keep secrets from one another and they are not always honest. Let’s look at some reasons why people keep marital secrets:

• They dread their spouse’s reaction which may evoke anger, rejection, blame or punishment.

• They fear that it will just cause more unnecessary problems.

• They are concerned that the secret will hurt or worry the spouse.

• The secret may involve another person whom they don’t want to bring up.

• They do not want to disclose details or issues from their past.

• The secret is something they are ashamed of.

• The secret may involve something illegal.

In couples counseling we often find that the most common secrets involve affairs, misuse of money, criminal problems, pornography, or sex issues.

Although couples want to be honest with each other, there are proper boundaries between an individual’s privacy and keeping potentially relationship damaging secrets. So a key question is, “Would you want or need to know this secret if it were held by your partner?”

The marriage can be negatively affected if some secrets are not told. It can be difficult to keep secrets in a marriage and be honest and true at the same time. The big secrets can eventually lead to big marital problems.

The goal is to preserve a healthy relationship built on trust, honesty and open communication. And remember, marital secrets are not always the core problem. Marital secrets are oftentimes the symptom to a bigger problem. Why does the secret-keeping spouse feel a need to keep the secret? What is he/she afraid of? What does he/she really have to hide?

Couples counseling can help couples uncover reasons for marital secrets, help couples work through underlying issues, find balance between sharing secrets and a place for individual privacy, and strengthen marriages to face issues and overcome problems.

A quarter of all married men surveyed admitted to having kept "an important secret" from their spouse, such as debts, gambling, hidden financial assets, alcohol or drug abuse, or hidden sexual practices. An even greater percentage of women--31%--said they had discovered that their spouse kept an important secret from them. (Parade Poll Special Report)

Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened you'll slip away. (from the movie Evita)

Concealing any activity from the other may create unnecessary suspicion and mistrust between husband and wife and the situation may go beyond repairs one day. Therefore it is in the best interest of both to share what ever they have so that it strengthens the mutual-bond and love. ~Atharva Veda

The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart. ~Saint Jerome

If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find. ~John Collins

But behavior in the human being is sometimes a defense, a way of concealing motives and thoughts, as language can be a way of hiding your thoughts and preventing communication. ~Abraham Maslow

To know that one has a secret is to know half the secret itself. ~Henry Ward Beecher

It is wise to disclose what cannot be concealed. ~Friedrich von Schiller

What is love? Love is when one person knows all of your secrets... your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows... and yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you; even if the rest of the world does. ~unknown

We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the secret sits in the middle and knows. ~Robert Frost

Marital Secrets – Why We Keep Them? (from the Couples Counseling Series) by Krystal Kuehn
Copyright © 2011 New Day Counseling All Rights Reserved.




Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, best-selling author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of NewDayCounseling.org, a relationship counseling, family counseling center, specializing in helping individuals, couples and families with professional counseling services for relationship problems, parenting issues, depression, anxiety as well a s substance abuse classes, anger management groups, and more. Krystal is also cofounder of StopSuicideSong.com and BeHappy4Life.com as well as Facebook.com/WordsOfInspiration and several blogs.



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The 7 Criteria of Emotional Maturity

What does it mean to be mature? According to Merriam-Webster, mature is defined as having completed natural growth and development. That is, being fully grown, complete, ready.

I do not believe that we arrive at a state of complete emotional maturity with no further need for growth and development. Rather, emotional maturity is a life-long process. We continually grow in our experience of love, acceptance, stability, adaption, and so forth.

Following is the list (underlined) of Criteria of Emotional Maturity by William C. Menninger, psychiatrist and co-founder of the Menninger Clinic along with some of my thoughts and comments. As we grow and develop in the following areas, we become more emotionally mature with greater mental and emotional stability, healthier relationships, and improved lives.

1. The ability to deal constructively with reality

To deal with reality in a constructive manner, we must face truth, the facts, rather than deny them. Running from problems or hoping they do not exist does not make them go away. Regardless of how unpleasant they may be at times, facing the facts is the first step to dealing with any situation.

When people have difficulty facing reality, they resort to all sorts of unhealthy ways to deal with the unpleasant feelings and pain. They try to soothe themselves with alcohol, drugs, or any other way that temporarily masks their reality and pain. There are healthy and constructive ways to cope that lead to greater emotional maturity and growth. It may not be the easiest path to take, but it leads to healing, lasting comfort and hope.

Set up as an ideal the facing of reality as honestly and as cheerfully as possible. ~Karl Menninger

2. The capacity to adapt to change

Change is not always easy. It can turn our world upside down at times and cause a great deal of stress. Whether the change is minor, like having to change our plans for the day, or more significant, such as moving to a new home, changing jobs, getting married or divorced, adapting to change is to make necessary adjustments. Sometimes the most important adjustment is in our attitude. Change can annoy us as it disrupts our routine and expectations, but we can choose to accept it and allow ourselves time to get comfortable with change.

3. A relative freedom from symptoms that are produced by tensions and anxieties

The symptoms produced from tensions and anxieties can include physical distress (headaches, stomach problems, rapid heart rate) and emotional distress (worry, restlessness, panic). Anxiety is a major mental health problem affecting millions of people every day. It negatively affects all levels of people's lives--their mental and physical health, relationships, work. To live free of its destructive symptoms and consequences is to cope with life stress in a healthy manner, learn to relax, release worries, and develop inner peace.

4. The capacity to find more satisfaction in giving than receiving

People who give of themselves--their time, attention, help, finances, or what they are able-- are generally more fulfilled and happy than those who do not. People who are primarily takers are more likely to use others for their own personal gain and are often considered selfish, stingy, and/or greedy. Like the old scrooge, they end up miserable. Givers, on the other hand, want to contribute and make a positive difference in this world. It is healthy to give cheerfully and willingly as it contributes to our sense of purpose and helps us connect with others and our society.

5. The capacity to relate to other people in a consistent manner with mutual satisfaction and helpfulness

Like I always say, life is all about relationships. We relate to others every single day--whether it is a relative, co-worker, neighbor, or stranger, our lives are intertwined with others. Love and respect are two key factors to relating successfully to others. Unlike dysfunctional relationships, healthy relationships are stable and provide deep satisfaction and joy. I share much more about this in my book, The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships.

6. The capacity to sublimate, to direct one's instinctive hostile energy into creative and constructive outlets

If we were to release all our frustrations and anger on the world, we would have a hostile existence. Instead, we can take that energy and direct it into something good and productive. It has long been said that sports is a great outlet of extra energy. Anything that is positive, constructive and creative can redirect our energies and put them to good use. A basketball player once told me that the court is where all his angry energy was released. He redirected his hostile energy in an acceptable way within specific guidelines and limits. It gave him a constructive outlet and helped him to really enjoy what he was doing without hurting others and/or himself.

7. The capacity to love

Love is the greatest power in the world. As humans, we are born with the capacity to love. The greatest differences between us are how we communicate our love. In my book, The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships, I share the most effective ways to communicate love that will improve relationships and help you grow in the power and capacity to love.

Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. ~Karl Menninger

One does not fall in love; one grows into love, and love grows in him. ~Karl MenningerSelf-love is not opposed to the love of other people. You cannot really love yourself and do yourself a favor without doing people a favor, and vise versa. ~Karl Menninger

Experience is not what happens to you, it's how you interpret what happens to you. ~Aldous Huxley

Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had, and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. ~unknown

In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships. ~John Gottman (from Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child)

Let's not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it. ~Vincent Van Gogh

Copyright © 2010 Krystal Kuehn, New Day Counseling. All Rights Reserved.

Criteria of Emotional Maturity by William C. Menninger, MD (1899-1966), Co-founder of The Menninger Clinic, Copyright © 1966 The Menninger Clinic

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, best-selling author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of NewDayCounseling.org, a relationship counseling, family counseling center, specializing in helping individuals, couples and families with professional counseling services for relationship problems, parenting issues, depression, anxiety as well a s substance abuse classes, anger management groups, and more. Krystal is also cofounder of StopSuicideSong.com and BeHappy4Life.com as well as Facebook.com/WordsOfInspiration and several blogs.




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Practice Gratitude to be Healthy, Happy and Wealthy

If you have health, you will probably be happy, and if you have health and happiness, you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want. ~Elbert Hubbard

As I reflected on the quote above, I was reminded of several things. For one, health is not only a gift, it is a responsiblity. We make choices every day that affect our overall physical, emotional and spiritual health. What we put into our bodies and minds has immediate and/or long-term influence in our lives. Something as simple as complaining about a frustrated goal or dreaded appointment can keep us from feeling gratitude and hope. Something seemingly innocuous as snacking on sweets can spoil our appetite for healthy foods and contribute to our feelings of guilt and lack of self-control.

Taking good care of ourselves is an ongoing process and challenge that can become an established way of life with commitment, discipline and practice. The more we practice healthy habits of body and mind, the more likely they will come naturally to us. With practice, we can feed our minds and bodies with what is good for them, and we can have better health.

Now if we have health, that is, if our minds and bodies are well taken care of, we will most likely be happy as it stands to reason. In that case, happiness is actually a byproduct of a healthy body, soul, and spirit. And furthermore, if we have both health and happiness, we are wealthy indeed. Now the last part of the quote is what I spent a little more time thinking about. It states that with health and happiness we have all the wealth we need. Yet, despite having this wealth, it may not be all we want. 

Does this imply that we can still be happy and not have what we want? We may have what we need, but is it enough? Does not having what we want justify unhappiness? To some of us it does. We are not happy unless we have what we want. But to be happy in the midst of not having what we want suggests a way of being that leaves our inner joy intact. Is it hope that keeps us believing? Is it gratitude that keeps us fulfilled? Is it patience that helps us to appreciate and live in the now? Is it peace that keeps us secure? Is it love that satisfies our deepest longings?

The next time not having what we want tempts to rob us of true inner joy and peace, maybe we ought to ask ourselves how much our health is worth. Are we not wealthy when we see the good, hope and believe the best, release doubts, fears, and anger, receive and give love and thanks? And are we not wealthy when we awaken to a new day with strength and vitality, seeing the light, breathing fresh air, and ready to fulfill our day's purpose and enjoy life's simple blessings?

Health, happiness, and wealth.... suddenly they all seem to come together.

Reflections on Health, Happiness & Wealth
Copyright © 2010 BeHappy4Life.com. All Rights Reserved

 

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, best-selling author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of NewDayCounseling.org, a relationship counseling, family counseling center, specializing in helping individuals, couples and families with professional counseling services for relationship problems, parenting issues, depression, anxiety as well a s substance abuse classes, anger management groups, and more. Krystal is also cofounder of StopSuicideSong.com and BeHappy4Life.com as well as Facebook.com/WordsOfInspiration and several blogs.

Giving Thanks: Why It Makes You Happy, Fills You with Peace & Changes Your Life!

We all have been reminded to count our blessings and not take them for granted. Although we may claim to be grateful, we do not necessarily experience the kind of joy and peace that gratitude can bring us. In this uplifting book, Giving Thanks – Why It Makes You Happy, Fills You with Peace and Changes Your Life! , you will discover the untold power of gratitude in every area of your life. You will be inspired to receive and enjoy the good things in life that are available to you every day. Your life and the way you live it will never be the same once you discover the miraculous power of gratitude!

Click here to look inside

365 Motivation Starters for a New Day

We can begin each new day with motivation and anticipation of good things to come. No matter what happened yesterday, today is a new day. And with it, we are given a new opportunity to enjoy life, to love and laugh, to learn and grow, to win and conquer, to prosper and live fully.

Whether or not we realize it, we begin each new day wanting it to be good and purposeful. No one wakes us saying, “I want to be aimless and unmotivated today.” However, we hold a responsibility to encourage and motivate ourselves. And that is the goal of the simple truths in 365 Motivation Starters for a New Day. They are simple every day reminders intended to motivate and help you to:

· Think about your endless opportunities to live a fulfilling life
· Get motivated to take some action
· Focus on what matters most to you
· Consider your priorities and decisions
· Improve your relationships
· Grow, learn, and make positive changes in your life
· Fill your mind with positive, empowering thoughts

You can live with motivation, purpose and joy each new day of the year. May the following pages remind you that you have the power within you to choose your attitude every day, to motivate and encourage yourself, and to live a truly fulfilling and successful life!

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