Monday, October 17, 2011

Are We Falling Out of Love? (from Help Save My Marriage Counseling Series)

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.  ~Mignon McLaughlin

Before a marriage or relationship ends, one or both partners usually claim that they are no longer “in love”. The passion, affection, and harmony that were once present are now replaced with disagreements, emotional withdrawal and physical distancing.

Relationships grow and develop as partners change and adapt to life and each other. It is an ongoing process. At the beginning of a new relationship, love is intoxicating. Differences and incompatibilities go unnoticed. This highly enjoyable stage of a relationship doesn’t last forever. Soon after the excitement wears off, partners have an opportunity to get to know and accept each other for who they really are. It is at this point that they discover the hard work that happy and successful relationships require.

Every relationship has conflicts. When they arise, a couple’s love and commitment will be tested. The real difference between a successful marriage or relationship and a troubled one is the level of their commitment to work through problems and challenges. Couples who do not stay committed through the difficult times usually end up getting divorced. Successful couples work on resolving their conflicts. They persevere and stay committed to the relationship. If they cannot resolve their conflicts together, they seek help including professional help such as marriage counseling. On the contrary, a relationship with unresolved conflicts grows distant. Eventually, layers upon layers of hurt feelings, insecurities, and unresolved issues develop which lead to more serious relationship problems.

Most couples want their marriages to work. For most, it’s a matter of rekindling their love and acceptance of one another, learning how to resolve conflicts, becoming better listeners, and resolving to stay committed to each other. There is no perfect marriage or relationship. Marriages go through changes and allow partners to grow closer and deeper in love as a result.

Falling out of love usually means falling out of commitment. If you want to fall back in love, it begins with a commitment to your partner. Are you willing to resolve your conflicts when they occur rather than ignore them or allow them escalate? Share your feelings and thoughts with love and acceptance rather than criticism and judgment? Focus on what you like about each other rather than what can be improved? Accept your differences and agree that you can disagree and still love and respect each other? Be thankful for and appreciate your partner? Make time for each other? Show your partner respect and love every day? Get professional help if you need it?

Being in love is one of the greatest experiences in the world. It’s more than a good feeling that eventually fades. It’s an intimate connection with another human being unlike any other. It involves a life commitment that surpasses feelings and reaches deep into the soul where true love resides. This love lasts forever and is unconditional. It is not dependent upon feelings or circumstances. It is eternal and true. It is a love every marriage can experience.

Relationships can be restored. Love can be rekindled. Marriages can be happy and succeed. Sometimes what is needed more than anything else is some insight and a few skills in key relationship areas such as communication, commitment, sexuality and intimacy, conflict resolution, money issues, romance, crisis, cheat-proofing your marriage.

Rather than enduring an unhappy or troubled marriage, or becoming another statistic of divorce, make today a new day of commitment to your marriage! Get some help that can make all the difference and save your relationship today!

Are We Falling Out of Love? (from Help Save My Marriage Counseling Series)
Copyright © 2009 New Day Family Marriage Counseling written by Krystal Kuehn
This article is a part of the Help Save My Marriage Counseling collection by Krystal.

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of, a relationship counseling, family counseling center, specializing in helping individuals, couples and families with professional counseling services for relationship problems, parenting issues, depression, anxiety as well a s substance abuse classes, anger management groups, and more. Krystal is also cofounder of and as well as and several blogs.

We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we,          changing, continue to love a changed person.  ~W. Somerset Maugham
 It is impossible to fall out of love. Love is such a powerful emotion, that once it envelops you it does not depart. True love is eternal. If you think that you were once in love, but fell out of it, then it wasn't love you were in. There are no 'exit' signs in love, there is only an 'on' ramp. ~unknown

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but musst live with a character. ~Peter De Vrie

New Day Counseling is a family marriage counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.

Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.

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