For the most part, irritability is likely to occur when we feel under pressure. Therefore, one of the best tests for measuring our irritability is to observe how we behave when having to manage stressful circumstances or people. If we can remain graceful toward others when under pressure, then we are probably exercising self-control. Our temper is well-managed and good. We are not allowing agitation to anger us or disrupt our relationships. If, on the other hand, pressure and stress bring out the worst in us, then we probably need to work on our self-control and temper.
When irritable, we are very likely to become easily angered at others, sometimes at the slightest provocation. We might even become hostile and behave in ways we will later regret. Gaining control over our thoughts, feelings, and actions when irritated and angry is the best way to keep from acting out in unloving ways.
* Take responsibility for our reactions
* Do not accuse or blame others for the way we feel
* Treat others graciously although they irritate us
* Keep from saying something hurtful and unnecessary
* Do not take our anger out on those around us
* Think things through before we react
* Allow ourselves a time-out to gather ourselves together
* Do not expect more from others than we should
The disposition of love is self-control and a good temper. Having self-control and a good temper is easier said than done, especially for those individuals who are more prone to irritability for various reasons. Even so, we can all learn to gain greater control over our tempers and how we react under pressure. Irritations will never cease, nor does our love need to when they come.
REFLECTION:
What makes me most irritable?
What do I do when I am under more pressure than I feel I can handle?
How do I treat others when I am irritated?
Do I have to have the last word? Explain.
On a scale of 0 to 10 with 10 being severe and 0 being nonexistent, how would I rate my temper?
How would those closest to me rate my temper?
Review the list of how self-control communicates love. Which one(s) do I do often? Which one(s) do I need more work on?
EMPOWERING THOUGHTS & AFFIRMATIONS
We may not be able to control stressors and pressures in our lives, but how we respond to them is up to us.
I can accept responsibility for my temper and exercise self-control.
When anger arises, think of the consequences. ~Confucious
An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes. ~Cato
It is wise to direct your anger towards problems -- not people; to focus your energies on answers -- not excuses. ~William Arthur Ward
Take note! Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset, or mad, is a full minute of happiness you'll never get back. ~unknown
Anger is a great force. If you control it, it can be transmuted into a power which can move the whole world. ~William Shenstone
When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger. ~Epictetus
Click here for: Free Printable Worksheet
Taken from The 10 Keys to Happy & Loving Relationships Part 9 (Love is Not Easily Angered) by Krystal Kuehn, BeHappy4Life.com
Copyright © 2006, 2010 Krystal Kuehn. All Rights Reserved.
Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling, child counseling and teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Give Thanks Journal, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog!
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