Never Give Up

Life can be hard, unfair, painful, and confusing.  Sometimes it is overwhelming and we feel defeated.  We may face situations that we do not think we can overcome and we just want to give up.  We may lose faith and give up on ourselves, on others, and sometimes on life itself.  Following are simple words of encouragement to remind you that you can and will make it through the problems you face if you do not quit.   Today, you can choose to believe for the best in your life, receive God's strength, get back up, and be encouraged to never give up!!




Never Give Up


Never give up believing things will get better.
Never give up trying.
Never give up pursuing your goals.
Never give up on yourself.

Never give up…
No matter how many times you fall.
No matter how hard you get hit.
No matter what has happened in the past.
No matter how bad things might be.
No matter how discouraged you feel.
No matter how much you are tempted to doubt.....

But believe…

Believe…

because….there is HOPE

Let hope strengthen you to get back up again.
Let hope be your anchor in the storm.
Let hope encourage you to never give up!



Never Give Up by Krystal Kuehn taken from: Breaking Free From Depression
Copyright © 2006, 2011 NewDayCounseling.org,  All Rights Reserved.


Life must be lived and curiosity kept alive.  One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt


Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on. ~ Les Brown


You are never strong enough that you don't need help. ~ Cesar Chavez


There is no one giant step that does it. It's a lot of little steps. ~Peter A. Cohen
 
Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. ~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.



Every adversity, every failure, and every heartache, carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.  ~Napoleon Hill

God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.  ~Reinhold Niebuhr

Don't give up. There are too many nay-sayers out there who will try to discourage you.  Don't listen to them. The only one who can make you give up is yourself.  ~Sidney Sheldon


Those who believe they can do something and those who believe they can't are both right. ~Henry Ford


A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.
~Elbert Hubbard
 
Never Give Up! Never, never, never, never give up. Never! ~Winston Churchill

Depression - Breaking Free From Its Grip

Finding Hope in God

Anger Management: What You Need to Know When Dealing with Anger

New Day Counseling is a family counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.


Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.


Are you experiencing addiction or substance use that is impacting your daily life? You are not alone! There are many people struggling with substance abuse and addiction! There are also many people who recover and live a drug free lifestyle. Come join our 6 week substance abuse group to discover the pathway to freedom! One Day at A Time! For substance abuse classes and/or individual substance abuse counseling, call or visit us today.


Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.


Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information, click here.  We also offer individual teenage counseling.



<< Back to Be Your Best Home

When Someone Says "I Want to Die"

A young mother was served divorce papers after her husband told her he was leaving her for another woman.  A college student could not live up to his parents’ expectations and believed he was a complete failure and disappointment. A teen boy was bullied relentlessly and could not stop the abuse. An elderly man lost his wife after over fifty years of marriage and believed he has nothing left to live for. A young girl believed she was worthless after years of being verbally and sexually abused by her father. A man’s self-esteem was shattered and he felt he lost everything when his wife left him and he lost his job.

The stories of misfortune, pain and heartache abound. No one is immune to life’s difficulties and injustices. As we see in the scenarios above, life can be hard. And as a result, people can become seriously depressed. They battle problems they do not always believe they can overcome. They want to escape. They want to numb the pain. Sometimes you hear them say I want to die. Other times, the words are left unspoken yet clearly seen in their self-destruction. Anger turns on the self with the goal to punish, harm, kill, or destroy.

What does it mean when someone says or implies I want to die? Do they really want their lives to end? Or is it the pain that they want to end? Oftentimes, it is the heaviness of their pain that outweighs their ability and resources to cope in healthy ways. They get stuck and do not know how to move forward with hope. They get overwhelmed and want a way of escape so they say I want to die, thinking that somehow death can offer them some relief. Not everyone who says or thinks I want to die takes steps to end his or her life. Some habitually meditate on the thought as a way of coping, indulging in the pain, or venting their anger.

When we hear the words I want to die, may we also hear what else the person is saying such as: I have lost hope; this pain is overwhelming; I need help; I don’t know what to do; I wish this pain would end; I can’t go on like this anymore; I hate myself; I am depressed.

Do you know that by the end of this day about 88 people will have died by suicide (according to the U.S. Suicide Statistics). A vast majority of them will have suffered from untreated depression or another mental health condition. Depression can be triggered by one or several negative life conditions which can lead to suicide, suicidal thoughts, or attempts. Yet, depression is very treatable. Getting help for depression can avert the negative consequences of suicidal thoughts such as I want to die. These thoughts are always a warning sign and should be taken seriously. If you or someone you know is depressed, get help immediately. Desperate, hopeless thoughts like I want to die can be replaced with: I know life can be tough, but I can and will overcome the challenges I face. I know others feel the way I do and I am not alone. I believe there are people who care and want to help. I choose to believe in myself. God is for me and gives me strength. I want to live. I have a lot to give, to do, and to fulfill. Love will never fail me. I am loved and I love myself, God and others. I will not quit or ever give up. I am born to win. I will to live and not die.

*If you or someone you know is depressed, suicidal, or engaged in self-destructive behaviors, please get help today.  1-800-273-TALK (8255) Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. ~William James

We have to keep evolving as people and keep it fresh. Life has its twists and turns, and being comfortable in your skin and loving yourself is the best way to get through life. ~Jesse Garza

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.  ~Anonymous

Use wisely your power of choice. Choose to love rather than hate. Choose to laugh rather than cry. Choose to create rather than destroy. Choose to perseverse rather than quit. Choose to praise rather than gossip. Choose to heal rather than wound. Choose to give rather than steal. Choose to act rather than procrastinate. Choose to grow rather than rot. Choose to pray rather than curse. Choose to live rather than die.~Og Mandino




When Someone Says – I Want to Die - Written by Krystal Kuehn

Copyright © 2011 NewDayCounseling.org, All Rights Reserved.



New Day Counseling is a family counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.


Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.

Are you experiencing addiction or substance use that is impacting your daily life? You are not alone! There are many people struggling with substance abuse and addiction! There are also many people who recover and live a drug free lifestyle. Come join our 6 week substance abuse group to discover the pathway to freedom! One Day at A Time!  For substance abuse classes and/or individual substance abuse counseling, call or visit us today.

DUI? Drunk Driving? Probation? Substance Abuse Problems? DUI Outpatient Counseling, Substance Abuse Evaluation & Alcohol Assessment help for court, business and personal. For more info to go newdaycounseling.org click here: substance abuse counseling or call 248-649-8050 today!

Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.


Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information, click here. For individual teenage counseling, click here.

<< Back to Be Your Best Home

How to Be the Best Lover, Partner and Friend (from Couples Counseling Series)

When people first get married they usually expect their love and commitment to last for a lifetime. Unfortunately, for at least half of all couples it doesn't. What happens? Soon after marriage, couples discover that the bliss of falling in love quickly fades. They no longer see each other through rose colored glasses. The ease with which they once overlooked each other's faults becomes much more difficult.

With married life, couples begin to encounter new challenges, roles and responsibilities. Conflicts arise and sometimes go unresolved. Tensions build. Commitments weaken. Mutual respect isn't always present. And, unconditional love and acceptance do not always last. So how do you build a strong marriage that can withstand the onslaughts of life's problems and challenges?

No one ever said that marriage is easy. Marriage is hard work. To keep a marriage strong, satisfying and lasting requires a great deal of investment. It takes time and energy to get to know and understand your spouse, to set goals and share dreams, and to have fun and enjoy each other. Couples sometimes lose touch with each other and grow apart when they get lax and don't work on their marriage. Yet when they do work on their relationship, they are much more likely to feel very close and deeply cared for by their partner.  Sometimes couples know there are areas they need to work on, but they do not know where to begin or what to do.  Couples counseling can be very helpful in reaching their relationship goals and improving their relationship.


Couples who invest in their marriages can build deep friendships. Researchers have found that the level of a couple's friendship is the greatest indicator of success in marriage. Couples who are close and are best friends have more happiness and satisfaction in their lives. Best friends are trustworthy, safe, understanding, loving, accepting and respectful. Best friends are a strong buffer in times of trouble. You can count on them. They are supportive and faithful. Best friends can work through conflicts and pressures that threaten the relationship. Best friends do not give up on each other. They forgive. They share.

You may have been your spouse's partner and lover, but have you been your spouse's best friend? If your marriage is not all that you would like it to be and you want to begin investing more into your marriage to make it better, why not begin with your friendship. You may likely find that it is one of the greatest investments you will ever make.

* Couples who want to improve thier relationships so they can be the best partner, lover and friend to their spouse may benefit from couples counseling where they can gain insight and better understanding of themselves and their partner, develop better communication skills, resolve unhealthy patterns and recurring problematic, gain more respect and trust, and draw closer and more in love with one another.


Your Partner and Lover, but Your Best Friend? (from the Couples Counseling Series)
by Krystal Kuehn
Copyright © 2011 NewDayCounseling.org  All Rights Reserved.

Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. ~Carl Reiner

I think that enduring, committed love between a married couple, along with raising children, is the most noble act anyone can aspire to. It is not written about very much. ~ Santiz Nicholas Sparks

Couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking. ~ Chinese Proverb

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~Mignon McLaughlin

Love, by itself, is not enough to sustain even the most loving couple -- at least the kind of love Hollywood pumps into our culture is not enough. Marriage requires new skills in communication, conflict resolution and so on. Love cannot protect a marriage from harm. But love combined with effective skills can overcome all. ~Unknown

Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.
~ Erich Fromm




Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning self-improvement and personal growth site where you can find hundreds of free resources, online workshops, video presentations, insights, and inspiration.



New Day Counseling is a family couples counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.


Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.


Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.



Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information about this teen group, click here.  For individual teenage counseling, click here.



<< Back to Be Your Best Home

When There is Hurt and Distancing in Relationships (from Couples Counseling Series)

If someone were to throw a punch at you, you would most likely try to protect yourself from getting hit. And if you were to feel the heat of a flaming fire, you would keep yourself far enough away to avoid getting burned. Self-preservation comes naturally as no one wants to experience pain or injury. So threats to our well-being motivate us to distance ourselves from anything with the potential to harm us. It is a necessary and reasonable response in many situations.

Relationships are no different. When we feel hurt or unloved we pull away from people in our lives. We distance ourselves in an effort to protect ourselves from more pain and injury. We may do this in a number of ways. It is often very subtle to start. We might keep ourselves busy and away from the person(s) who hurt us. We might not open ourselves up to sharing what is on our minds and hearts anymore. We might withdraw our warmth and affection. We might stop investing our time in giving and nurturing the relationship.

In all this, what we are actually doing is crying out, “You don’t care about me.” “I don’t feel you love me.” “I just want to know I am important to you.” “If I pull away, will you then hear me and notice me?” But often we do not recognize that our acts of self-preservation can end up pushing others further away. They may begin to feel you do not love or care about them as well. So the emotional distancing pushes you even further apart.

As the hurt deepens, your needs for love, attention, and affection go unmet. When this happens it is common for people to try to meet their own needs. They divert their energies and attention to other things such as work, hobbies, parenting, socializing, shopping, and an entire host of addictions. Pulling away and distancing in relationships causes disconnection. Without connectedness relationships do not work. That may explain why many give up on their relationships. As a result, feelings of hurt, betrayal and failure keep them from believing that restoration is possible.

But there is a healing balm that can heal every wound. It soothes the sting of burns and takes away the pain. It comforts broken hearts and revives hope again. It provides a place of refuge where you feel safe and secure to share and give of yourself all over again. Where it flows in abundance, there miracles happen. It is the greatest gift of all. It is what relationships are meant for. It is the gift of love.

Love, along with honor, commitment, and healthy communication restores brokenness. If you have pulled away from a relationship in an effort to protect yourself from getting hurt, will you allow love to break down the walls you’ve erected? Will you make a decision to not accept failure for your relationships? Will you begin to draw close to others and communicate your feelings and needs to them?

Today can be a new day to build and enrich your relationships as you begin to draw near to others in love, grace and forgiveness.


* Couples who are experiencing hurt and distancing in their relationship and want to restore their love and communication may benefit from couples counseling where they can gain insight and better understanding of themselves and their partner, develop better communication skills, resolve unhealthy patterns and recurring problems, gain more respect and trust, and draw closer and more in love with one another.




When There is Hurt and Distancing in Relationships (from Couples Counseling Series)
Copyright © 2007, 2011 NewDayCounseling.org All Rights Reserved.


Sometimes it is the person closest to us who must travel the furthest distance to be our friend.  ~Robert Brault


Sticks and stones are hard on bones
Aimed with angry art,
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart.
~Phyllis McGinley


To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship. ~Doménico Cieri Estrada


There are times when two people need to step apart from one another, but there is no rule that says they have to turn and fire.  ~Robert Brault


When negative feelings are suppressed positive feelings become suppressed as well, and love dies. ~John Gray

Sometimes two people need to step apart and make a space between that each might see the other anew,
in a glance across a room or silhouetted against the moon. ~Robert Brault




Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love. Krystal is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling and child adolescent counseling center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning self-improvement and personal growth site where you can find hundreds of free resources, online workshops, video presentations, insights, and inspiration.




New Day Counseling is a family counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.



Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.



Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.



Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information about this teen group, click here. We also provide individual teenage counseling.





<< Back to Be Your Best Home

Marital Secrets – Why We Keep Them? (from Couples Counseling Series)

Matt has an online relationship with a woman from another state. It isn’t anything serious, so why worry his wife? Katie has been hiding her spending sprees from her husband that has put them into serious financial debt. She is afraid if he finds out he will never forgive her. Jason never told his wife that he got fired from his job, but rather, that he got laid off. He did not want her to lose faith and respect for him.

From the above scenarios, we can clearly see that couples keep secrets from one another and they are not always honest. Let’s look at some reasons why people keep marital secrets:

• They dread their spouse’s reaction which may evoke anger, rejection, blame or punishment.

• They fear that it will just cause more unnecessary problems.

• They are concerned that the secret will hurt or worry the spouse.

• The secret may involve another person whom they don’t want to bring up.

• They do not want to disclose details or issues from their past.

• The secret is something they are ashamed of.

• The secret may involve something illegal.

In couples counseling we often find that the most common secrets involve affairs, misuse of money, criminal problems, pornography, or sex issues. Although couples want to be honest with each other, there are proper boundaries between an individual’s privacy and keeping potentially relationship damaging secrets. So a key question is, “Would you want or need to know this secret if it were held by your partner?”

The marriage can be negatively affected if some secrets are not told. It can be difficult to keep secrets in a marriage and be honest and true at the same time. The big secrets can eventually lead to big marital problems.

The goal is to preserve a healthy relationship built on trust, honesty and open communication. And remember, marital secrets are not always the core problem. Marital secrets are oftentimes the symptom to a bigger problem. Why does the secret-keeping spouse feel a need to keep the secret? What is he/she afraid of? What does he/she really have to hide?

Couples counseling can help couples uncover reasons for marital secrets, help couples work through underlying issues, find balance between sharing secrets and a place for individual privacy, and strengthen marriages to face issues and overcome problems.



A quarter of all married men surveyed admitted to having kept "an important secret" from their spouse, such as debts, gambling, hidden financial assets, alcohol or drug abuse, or hidden sexual practices. An even greater percentage of women--31%--said they had discovered that their spouse kept an important secret from them. (Parade Poll Special Report)


Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened you'll slip away. (from the movie Evita)

Concealing any activity from the other may create unnecessary suspicion and mistrust between husband and wife and the situation may go beyond repairs one day. Therefore it is in the best interest of both to share what ever they have so that it strengthens the mutual-bond and love.  ~Atharva Veda
The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart. ~Saint Jerome

If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find. ~John Collins

But behavior in the human being is sometimes a defense, a way of concealing motives and thoughts, as language can be a way of hiding your thoughts and preventing communication. ~Abraham Maslow


To know that one has a secret is to know half the secret itself. ~Henry Ward Beecher


It is wise to disclose what cannot be concealed. ~Friedrich von Schiller


Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough. Not only have I found that when I talk to the little flower or to the little peanut they will give up their secrets, but I have found that when I silently commune with people they give up their secrets also - if you love them enough. ~George Washington Carver


What is love? Love is when one person knows all of your secrets... your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows... and yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you; even if the rest of the world does. ~unknown


We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the secret sits in the middle and knows. ~Robert Frost

Marital Secrets – Why We Keep Them? (from the Couples Counseling Series) by Krystal Kuehn
Copyright © 2011 NewDayCounseling.org All Rights Reserved.




New Day Counseling is a family couples counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.



Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.





Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.




Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information, click here.



<< Back to Be Your Best Home

Self-Talk: You Are What You Think

A man is what he thinks about all day long. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

What kind of thoughts come to your mind when you think about your life? How about your family, your work, your future? Suppose your thoughts could change your destiny. Would you want to change or improve any of them?

We might believe our thoughts just happen, and we don’t consider the fact that we can choose to stop certain thoughts and refocus. We can choose what we accept and meditate on, and we can choose what we resist and reject. Our thoughts shape the attitudes that direct our lives. We make decisions based on our attitudes and beliefs.

Thoughts lead to other related thoughts. When they are hopeful and positive, we develop a good attitude. Likewise, a bad attitude results when a habit of negative thoughts dominate our thinking. For example, suppose you feel hurt that your friend didn’t come to your birthday party. You might begin to think that it is because it isn't important to her. That thought may lead you to wonder if she really likes you. Maybe you did something to offend her. Maybe there is something wrong with you. You feel angry and rejected. You dwell on the offense and have a bad attitude. If you hold on to it, feelings of rejection may lead to bitterness toward your friend. It may even lead to a desire for retaliation. It is common to reject others when we feel rejected.

Hurt and angry feelings affect our choices and attitudes. We might not be able to control how we feel, but we can control how we direct our thoughts. Suppose you were to stop the negative cycle after feeling hurt by your friend. There could be many good reasons why she wasn't able to join you. Maybe it had nothing to do with you. You can choose to not take it personal if you know she wouldn't intentionally want to hurt you. You can choose to not dwell on the offense and negative feelings. You can refocus. If it really bothers you, talk to her about it. In doing so, you just may find out that you had the wrong idea all along. This happened to a woman I know. She never received the invitation sent by her friend. It was somehow lost in the mail. Her friend assumed she got the invitation and chose not to come. It was months until she discovered why her friend had a bad attitude and pulled away from her.

Our thinking patterns become habits and attitudes. Optimism and pessimism are the result of the kinds of thoughts we choose to dominate our thought life and perspective. If we were to live by these words of wisdom, we would spare ourselves of the negativity that keeps us from fulfilling our potential and purpose: Fill your mind and meditate on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.*

We can choose to occupy our minds with the best in people or situations, rather than the worst. We can choose to see the beauty and splendor of every rose rather than its thorns and ugliness. We can notice and praise what is right and good rather than dwell on mistakes or problems. We can hold on to hope rather than submit to despair. We can appreciate and embrace what we have and all that is before us rather than live in regret of the past. We can choose to live today as best as we can because that is all we have right now.

Change your thoughts, and you change your world. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples don't count on harvesting golden delicious. ~unknown

Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider yourself defeated again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life's blueprint. Smile!  ~Og Mandino


Nothing has any power over me other than that which I give it through my conscious thoughts. ~Anthony Robbins


Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think. ~ Benjamin Disraeli


Our life is what our thoughts make it. A man will find that as he alters his thoughts toward things and other people, things and other people will alter towards him. ~ James Allen

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
We are either the masters or the victims of our attitudes.


* Philippians 4:8


Copyright © 2008, 2010 NewDayCounseling.org  All Rights Reserved.

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
We are either the masters or the victims of our attitudes.
To learn more about developing healthy habits in your life and self-talk, check out:
21 Power Habits for a Winning Life (Volumes 1 & 2), click here

New Day Counseling is a family counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, adolescent counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.


Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call 248-649-8050 to register today. * Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.



Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.


Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information, click here. 



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Prevent Relationship Problems with Anger Management - Part 3

Where there is patience and humility, there is neither anger nor vexation. ~St. Francis of Assisi

All sorts of things can trigger irritability in people, from minor traffic jams to major headaches. Everyone gets upset or annoyed sometimes. We all have lost our temper and reacted without thinking. We have succumbed to anger that drives us to say and do things we normally would not. And it is when we lose control over our thoughts and feelings, that our irritability and anger can do some major damage to our love walk.

For the most part, irritability is likely to occur when we feel under pressure. Therefore, one of the best tests for measuring our irritability is to observe how we behave when having to manage stressful circumstances or people. If we can remain graceful toward others when under pressure, then we are probably exercising self-control. Our temper is well-managed and good. We are not allowing agitation to anger us or disrupt our relationships. If, on the other hand, pressure and stress bring out the worst in us, then we probably need to work on our self-control and temper.

When irritable, we are very likely to become easily angered at others, sometimes at the slightest provocation. We might even become hostile and behave in ways we will later regret. Gaining control over our thoughts, feelings and actions when irritated and angry is the best way to keep from acting out in unloving ways.

Self-control communicates love. It can be seen whenever we:

* Take responsibility for our actions

* Do not accuse or blame others for the way we feel

* Treat others graciously although they irritate us

* Keep from saying something hurtful and unnecessary

* Do not take our anger out on those around us

* Think things through before we react

* Allow ourselves a time-out to gather ourselves together

* Do not expect more from others than we should

The disposition of love is self-control and a good temper. Having self-control and a good temper is easier said than done, especially for those individuals who are more prone to irritability for various reasons. Even so, we can all learn to gain greater control over our tempers and how we react under pressure. Irritations will never cease, nor does our love need to when they come.

Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life.

We boil at different degrees. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

There was never an angry man that thought his anger unjust. ~St. Francis De Sales
An angry man opens his mouth and shuts up his eyes. ~Cato

The key to everything is patience.  You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. ~Arnold H. Glasgow

The greatest remedy for anger is delay. ~Seneca

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. ~Chinese Proverb

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. ~Proverbs 15:1
C2007 Krystal Kuehn, NewDayCounseling.org
Anger Management and Self-Control
Taken from The 10 Keys to Successful and Loving Relationships by Krystal Kuehn.




New Day Counseling is a family counseling center that provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, teenage counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.


Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call 248-649-8050 to register today.


Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.


Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information, click here.




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Prevent Relationship Problems with Anger Management - Part 2

Feelings are not supposed to be logical.  Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions. ~David Borentein

Of all the emotions we experience in our lives, anger seems to be one we all experience frequently in one way or another. When we think of an angry person we might picture someone getting loud or aggressive; or someone who is critical and mean. But anger is also expressed in other ways as in a person who is depressed and turns their anger inward. Or in a person who is afraid or frustrated or lonely.

Most often when we experience feelings of anger they alert us to an underlying emotion(s). That is, there is something behind our anger. For example, we might feel angry because we have been hurt by what someone said to us. So the underlying emotion here is hurt. Once we recognize this and deal with the hurt we will be able to release our anger. We might also feel angry because we feel frustrated that things did not go as planned. Realizing why we are angry and then dealing with the frustration will help us release the anger.

Sometimes when people are angry they don't realize that they are also experiencing other feelings as well. Identifying what other feelings besides anger they are experiencing is an important first step to learning what is really behind their anger. Then those feelings can be faced. Sometimes it is so much easier to feel angry than it is to face other feelings like shame or guilt or rejection. Those feelings can be unpleasant and uncomfortable and that is why so many people run from their feelings or try to bury them. Drug and alcohol abuse, gambling, promiscuity, workaholism, gossip, etc., are all evidence of this.

So how can we face what is behind our anger and release it? It all depends. We might need to accept certain people or things in our lives. We might need to forgive someone. We might need to work on our self-esteem. We might need to make changes and take action. We might need to learn how to manage our emotions. Acceptance, forgiveness, and taking responsibility will help us to let go of anger that weighs down our hearts. Anger that is unresolved and not motivated to positive action keeps us from having peace and a calm, untroubled mind.

Anger is not all bad. It is a God-given emotion that helps us to experience life in all its fullness. It is what we do with our anger that matters. We can learn to manage and control our anger before it becomes destructive. If necessary, we can get professional help to deal with it. Anger management classes and/or individual anger counseling can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping us with many tools for a better life. We do not have to feel ashamed or guilty for feeling the way we do. Each one of us experiences anger from time to time. Anger has no control over us when we choose to release it. We can manage our anger, let go of toxic emotions, and experience freedom.


Nothing is worth losing your inner peace.  Take action as circumstances require, but never surrender your inner peace.  Stop. Breathe deeply. Close your eyes and breathe deeply again.  Then, and only then, take action – from a peaceful heart.  ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Those who are at war with others are seldom at peace with themselves. ~unknown

Be at peace with yourself first and then you will be able to bring peace to others. ~Thomas A. Kempis


C2007 Krystal Kuehn, NewDayCounseling.org
Prevent Relationship Problems with Anger Management Part 2
Releasing Anger, Finding Freedom


New Day Family Counseling provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, children therapy, teenage counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.


Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call to register today.


Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.


Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information, click here.









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Prevent Relationship Problems with Anger Management

When you strike out in anger, you might miss the other person, but you will always hit yourself. ~Jim Gallery

Striking out with angry words is the cause of so many relationship problems. Words are powerful. They can encourage, strengthen, and change destinies. They can also destroy potential and robs us of hope and peace. Most major fires begin with just a small flame. Before long the fire spreads and becomes more and more difficult to contain. It damages or completely destroys everything in its path. Do we realize how quickly unmanaged anger can do significant damage? And as the quote above humorously expresses, anger always hurts the angry person. Sometimes even more so than those to whom it is directed. That is because we cannot have both peace and bitterness in our hearts. An angry person loses his or her peace and joy. Anger obstructs the expression of love, and without love there is no true happiness.

We all get angry. It is inevitable. But, not all anger is bad. We have heard stories of people who have made major contributions to society, fought against injustices, and made positive life changes as they were motivated by righteous anger. Problematic anger, on the other hand, is usually explosive, hidden, or denied. If not faced and dealt with, anger hinders our ability to have healthy and loving relationships.

So how do we deal with anger? We can begin by recognizing the underlying emotions that lead up to our negative reactions such as feelings of hurt, frustration, shame, rejection, fear, jealousy. The next time you feel angry, ask yourself What emotion is behind my anger? You may begin to see a pattern. For example, a woman gets angry every time her boyfriend is late for their meeting. She realizes that his tardiness makes her feel rejected and this leads to her angry outbursts. What is the underlying problem that needs to be addressed? Rejection. How about the boyfriend who expresses his anger by shutting down when his girlfriend tries to engage him in conversation? As he identifies the pattern, he realizes that he feels jealous every time she talks to other guys. He tries to hide his anger and does not express his feelings to her directly, so he pulls away instead.

Anger does not have to bring ruin to our lives and relationships. There are healthy and effective ways to manage it. I have briefly discussed the underlying emotions of anger and the importance of dealing with the causes. If you need more help in this area, I highly recommend participating in an anger management class or individual anger counseling. It can be extremely supportive and helpful in equipping you with many tools for a better life.

Above all else, may peace rule in our hearts, Krystal


Copyright © 2009 NewDayCounseling.org, Prevent Relationship Problems with Anger Management written by Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC


New Day Family Counseling provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, teenage counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseling, porn addiction counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.


Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call to register today.


Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.



Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information, click here.





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How to Break Bad Habits

Alcohol, drugs, smoking, and food are what we think of when we hear the word addiction. But, they are not the only things we get addicted to. Oftentimes, other unhealthy habits lead to these more common addictions. That is what I have addressed below:

Alcohol and drug use can lead to problems with addiction if unhealthy or excessive drinking patterns develop. What might start out as social drinking or casual use can soon become a habit. For example, if you drink every time you get together with friends at the bowling alley, it will soon become a habit. That does not necessarily mean it will lead to drinking problems, but I want to address how patterns and habits can develop quickly and easily. This led me to think about how this applies to relationship problems as well as depression, anxiety, and other problems.

Relationship interactions often fall into repeated patterns of behavior. Sometimes it is easy to predict how someone is going to react in any given situation based on previous behavior. And there might not be a good reason to think it will be any different. The behavior has become a habit or dysfunctional pattern. For example, whenever Andy asks for feedback from Kim and she provides some constructive criticism, he gets defensive and accuses her of trying to put him down. Jen does not like to be ignored when she asks Dave to pick up his clothes off the floor, so she gets irritable and short-tempered. Dave asks her to stop nagging him. They end up bickering back and forth. The patterns continue. The tension grows. No one does anything any different so things do not get better until someone decides to do something to break the cycle.

If you have ever struggled with an addiction, you know first hand how difficult it is to break the control it can have on every aspect of your life. And you would most likely want to be free of the addiction. Maybe you do not have problems with drinking, drugs, or smoking. It is highly probable that you know someone who does struggle with these problems. However, I would ask you:

How about negative thinking patterns, disrespect, impatience, angry outbursts, unkindness, criticism, gossip, taking offense, cussing, bitterness, negative self-labeling, pessimism, and the list goes on? Do these things get out of control? Do they become addictive and difficult to break free from? I believe they are, and as a result they contribute to all sorts of emotional, relational, and social problems.

I encourage you to think about any patterns or habits in your life that cause you personal or relational problems. They can be just as serious and destructive as the more commonly known addiction problems. If you want to break some bad habits, I encourage you to take do something about it now. You can make choices to change your lifestyle for the better today!  Remember, bad habits can be replaced with good habits that can improve every area of your life. It just takes some determination, planning and practice. You can do it!   Krystal

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit. ~Aristotle


A nail is driven out by another nail. Habit is overcome by habit. ~Desiderius Erasmus


First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your bad habits or they will conquer you. ~
Rob Gilbert


Good habits result from resisting temptation. ~Indian Proverb


Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. ~Anonymous








Copyright © 2007 NewDayCounseling.org, written by Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC





Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher and musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling Services, a family couples counseling center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and personal growth site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights and inspiration.




For help and tools on how to replace old habits with new ones, call us today for individual counseling, family counseling and/or couples counseling.


To improve you relationships and communication patterns, you might be interested in The 10 Keys to Happy and Loving Relationships. In it you will find helpful activities and information to communicate love in a highly effective way that will significantly improve your relationships.

New Day Family Counseling provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage counseling, child therapy, teenage counseling, anxiety counseling, depression counseling, divorce counseling, grief counseing, porn addiction counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.

Put an end to anger problems & regain control over your life today. Anger management classes help for personal, court, and business. For more info go to newdaycounseling.org or call to register today.


Love and Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Class or call 248-649-8050.


Self-Esteem Group for Teen Girls (ages 13-17)
Teen girls learn to feel empowered, gain self-awareness, develop positive coping, and improve daily problem-solving skills. Through G.I.R.L.S. (Girls in Real Life Situations) counseling curriculum, group discussion, and fun activities, girls will learn more about themselves and be better equipped to handle Real Life Situations. Call 248-649-8050 today to register. For more information, click here.



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