Monday, February 28, 2011

Teenagers and Spring Fever: Raising the Odds for Responsible Behavior


Spring fever can be deadly.

A survey completed by the Love and Logic Institute found 75 percent of American adults believe teenagers today face more serious, potentially life-threatening decisions than a generation ago. These decisions, combined with a strong dose of hormones and the vacations and parties that come with springtime, can challenge the most sensible teenagers.

Fortunately, there are some simple, time-tested tips for parents who want their teens to make cool decisions as the weather gets warmer.

Tip #1: Don't fall into the trap of thinking teens no longer need their parents.

Because their adolescents are becoming more independent, many parents believe it's okay to leave them without supervision for hours on end. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Wise parents understand this, and they recognize teens need a watchful, yet friendly eye.

Tip #2: Set enforceable limits.

Teens need and want limits. However, instead of telling your teen what they should do, experiment with telling them what you will do or what you will allow. Instead of, "Be home on time," experiment with something like, "I share the car keys with those who come home on time." Instead of, "Don't hang out with Steve. He's trouble," try, "Feel free to see Steve when I know there is adult supervision." For a free list of response examples, visit this page.

Tip #3: Hold them accountable with empathy and logical consequences.

Parents who provide consequences with anger create teens who think, "When I make poor decisions, it makes others really mad. I better not get caught." Parents who replace anger with a genuine dose of empathy or sadness raise teens who know, "When I make poor decisions it makes my life really sad. For my sake, I'd better make wise ones!"

Tip #4: When you are too angry or worried to think - delay the consequence.

If your teen does something that throws you off balance, buy some time by saying, "I'm going to have to do something about this. But not now… later… try not to worry." Take some time to calm down and get some ideas from friends.

Every day, parents around the world are finding their lives made easier with these tips. One parent commented, "I came home from work to find my 16-year-old daughter and six of her friends had scattered pizza, chips, and dip all over my new carpet! I was furious. Luckily I remembered the advice from Love and Logic and how to delay consequences. All I managed to say was, 'I'd better calm down first. We'll talk later. Try not to worry.' By the next day, she already had a good plan for selling enough of her things to hire some carpet cleaners!"

Give Love and Logic a try and find out why so many parents say it has changed their lives. Get started right away!


©2002 Dr. Charles Fay
Teenagers and Spring Fever - Raising the Odds for Responsible Behavior written by Dr. Charles Fay. Dr. Charles Fay is a parent, author, and consultant to schools, parent groups, mental health professionals around the world and President of the Love and Logic Institute in Golden, CO.


Love & Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is! You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships. Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy. For more information or to register online go to: Love and Logic Parenting Classes or call 248-649-8050.




New Day Family Counseling provides professional counseling services for the entire family. We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples. We offer couples therapy / marriage therapy, children counseling, teen counseling, divorce counseling, porn addiction, substance abuse counseling. We also offer groups for anger counseling. Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050. We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you.





Back to Be Your Best Home

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Parenting Tips: One-Liners



Kids seem to have a repertoire of "hooks" they use to get their parents to argue with them. Here are some Love and Logic One-Liners that will get parents off the hook and cause children to do more of the thinking.

Remember: The "one-liners" are only effective when said with genuine compassion and understanding. These are never intended to be flippant remarks that discount the feelings of the child. If an adult uses these responses to try to get the better of a child, the problem will only become worse. The adult's own attitude at these times is crucial to success.


•"Probably so."

•"I know."

•"Nice try."

•"I bet it feels that way."

•"What do you think you're going to do."

•"I don't know. What do you think?"

•"Bummer. How sad."

•"Thanks for sharing that."

•"Don't worry about it now."

•"That's an option."

•"I bet that's true."

•"Maybe you'll like what we have for the next meal better."

•"What do you think I think about that?"

•"I'm not sure how to react to that. I'll have to get back to you on it."

•"I'll let you know what will work for me."

•"I'll love you wherever you live."


©1999 Jim Fay
One-Lines written by Jim Fay, Love and Logic Institute


Love & Logic Parenting Classes help you with the most important job there is!  You can learn practical tools & techniques for effective discipline, better communication, appropriate boundaries, healthy decision-making, & respectful adult-child relationships.  Workshops are available at New Day Counseling in Troy.  For more information or to register online go to:   Love and Logic Parenting Classes or call 248-649-8050.






New Day Family Counseling provides professional counseling services for the entire family.  We help parents, children, teens, families, individuals and couples.  We also offer groups for anger counseling.  Go to NewDayCounseling.org today for more information or call us at 248-649-8050.  We are here to help, and we look forward to hearing from you. 


Back to Be Your Best Home

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Power of Words

Whatever we have in our hearts will determine the words we speak. If we fill our minds with good and positive thoughts, we will have good and positive things to say. If our minds are filled with unpleasant and negative thoughts, it will be evident in the negative way we talk.

With our words we bless and with our words we curse. For example, when parents tell their children that they can fulfill their potential and accomplish great things, they encourage their children’s faith and build their confidence as these words are believed and acted upon. On the other hand, those who continually hear that there is something wrong with them, they are never good enough, or they will never amount to much begin to believe those words and live them out. Often the greatest factor that accounts for the differences in many of our lives is the words we hear and believe.

Words are powerful. What we say can influence people’s lives in many ways—their attitude, mood, choices, self-esteem, and so forth. It is up to us to guard our speech from negativity, criticism, and judgment and instead speak words that encourage, edify, comfort, and strengthen.

Affirmation:
Today I can choose to fill my heart with goodness and speak words that bring life to others.


Empowering Thoughts:
Perhaps you will never forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them for a lifetime. ~Dale Carnegie

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are endless. ~Mother Theresa

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. ~Proverbs 16:24

Watch your manner of speech if you want to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Words so innocent and powerless… when standing in a dictionary, how potent for good or evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne







Copyright © 2010 Krystal Kuehn, New Day Family & Couples Counseling Center. All Rights Reserved.



Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling and child teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Give Thanks Journal, Baby Poems & Words of Inspiration blog.


Back to Be Your Best Home









<< Back to Words of Inspiration Home