Discover True Self-Confidence & Strength in Humility

A humble person is certainly a pleasant person to be around and that is because humble people are not self-centered or self-seeking. They are modest and not at all arrogant or boastful. They do not draw attention to themselves, but they are drawn to others. They do not need praise and approval to feel good about themselves. When they are overlooked, they are not driven by frustration to make themselves known. When their good intentions are ridiculed, they are able to keep from retaliating. They can humbly submit to one of less stature than themselves, if necessary, without rebellion or resentment.

Humility is love unseen.  It is love that is veiled and not directly recognized, yet humility is motivated by love.  A person who is genuinely humble doesn’t think they are better or more important than other people.  They have proper respect for everyone regardless of who they are or what they have done.  That doesn’t mean that they allow others to take advantage of them.  Nor does it mean that they lack confidence and fear asserting themselves.  Sometimes people confuse humility with weakness and blind compliance, or even assume that someone who degrades themselves is a humble person.  This is certainly not the case.  It takes great strength to live a life of humility. 

Humility communicates love.  Humble people are:

* Ready to admit when they are wrong
* Willing to say they are sorry
* Not afraid to ask for help when they need it
* Patient when misunderstood
* Not fearful of what others think about them
* Confident in who they are and don’t feel a need to prove themselves
* Teachable and willing to learn from their mistakes
* Not judgmental of others or backbiters
* Not easily offended



Most people find it difficult to humble themselves or even admit when they have been humbled. It can be extremely uncomfortable and it hurts our pride. It is so much easier to defend ourselves and blame others, and to exalt and try to prove ourselves. Humility is certainly a challenge to most people. It can be a real stumbling block in our love walk, or it can become a stepping stone to greater love if we will allow it to be.


REFLECTION:

Do I have pre-conceived notions of humility that are inaccurate (such as humility is weakness)?

What does it really mean to be humble?

Do I know anyone who communicates their love through humility? Give examples.

What do I find most challenging in expressing love through humility?

What attributes of humility do I most admire? Why?

Do I want to be a more humble person? What areas of my life need the most work?


EMPOWERING THOUGHTS & AFFIRMATIONS

Nobody likes to be wrong because it forces us to face our inadequacies.

I can admit my mistakes and learn from them.


Love measures our stature: the more we love, the bigger we are. There is no smaller package in all the world than that of a man all wrapped up in himself. ~William Sloane Coffin Jr.


True humility is intelligent self respect which keeps us from thinking too highly or too meanly of ourselves. It makes us modest by reminding us how far we have come short of what we can be. ~Ralph W. Sockman


Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. ~Proverbs 11:2

 
CLICK HERE for: Free Printable Worksheet



Taken from The 10 Keys to Happy & Loving Relationships Part 7 (Love is Humble) by Krystal Kuehn, BeHappy4Life.com

Copyright © 2006, 2010 Krystal Kuehn. All Rights Reserved. New Day Counseling Center


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling and child teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Give Thanks Journal, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog!



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Self-Esteem: How it Affects Our Relationships

There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. ~Nathaniel Branden

You may have heard it said that you can’t love others if you don’t love yourself. Having self-love means you care about and like yourself in a healthy and balanced way. It means you have self-respect and believe you are worthy of love.

When self-love is lacking in a person’s life, it usually indicates that they have a low self-esteem. They do not “esteem” or value themselves as highly as they ought to. They might not really believe they are loveable. And the more they dislike themselves, the more hindered they become in receiving love from others. As a result, they are unable to love others as deeply as they would like to.

It is important to note that what appears as excessive self-love in some people is also indicative of a poor self-esteem. These individuals come across as arrogant and boastful. However, they yearn for admiration in hopes that it will satisfy their desperate longing for genuine love.

Loving and esteeming others fully begins with loving and esteeming yourself in an appropriate and healthy way.

When you.....

Allow for mistakes and forgive your flaws

Are patient and understanding with yourself

Are not self-deprecating or self-exalting

Satisfied with your best effort

Believe in yourself and don’t give up

Acknowledge your good qualities and strengths and accept your weaknesses

Learn to like and appreciate who you are


Then, you will be much better able to do so for others. Love, respect, and appreciation will transfer to all other areas and relationships in your life.

The way you esteem yourself will be directly related to the way you esteem others. That is why a positive self-esteem is an important part of our experience of love. Self-esteem can be built and improved as you acknowledge and receive love in your life and as you love yourself and others as best as you can. In its own miraculous way love increases in our lives as we give it away. The more we give, the more we have to give. So you can start right where you are no matter how little you may feel you have to give. There is so much more love for you to experience.


Reflection:

Explain what esteeming yourself means to you and how you think it relates to loving others.

How can a low self-esteem make it difficult to receive love and to love others?

Review the list of examples of loving and esteeming yourself. How do they apply to you?

Is self-love lacking or excessive in your life? How can you bring it into balance?

Think about the way you feel about yourself. In what ways is it helping or hindering you from loving others?


Empowering Thoughts & Affirmations:

Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone is worthy of love.


* I can allow the power of love to work in my life.

* I can accept myself and others as worthy of love.

* I choose to appreciate my inner strengths and value who I am.

Love is an expression and assertion of self-esteem. ~Ayn Rand

You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. ~unknown

You really have to look inside yourself and find your own inner strength, and say, "I'm proud of what I am and who I am, and I'm just going to be myself." ~Mariah Carey

CLICK HERE for free printable worksheet


Taken from 10 Keys to Happy & Loving Relationships Part 2 (Love is Esteem for Self and Others) by Krystal Kuehn

Copyright © 2007, 2010 Krystal Kuehn. All Rights Reserved.



Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling and child teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's blogs: Give Thanks Journal, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog!



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